I once thought my thirst couldn’t be quenched, but that was before. Before I met the man who out of him I drew living waters. I’m getting ahead of myself.

I guess you might call me a strong-minded woman. I mean, others have. So what if I think of something and want to do it or say it? But some people, especially most men, have a real issue with that. I don’t understand why women have to be quiet in some places and, especially, around men. We’re just as smart as they are! Being like that has always gotten me into a lot of trouble. Even when I was a young girl growing up at home. I stood up to my father and challenged his teachings. That frustrated him to no end. He would even tell me, with my mouth, that I would have trouble keeping a man if I could even find one. My mother tried to change me, but I am also very stubborn.

Well, it turns out my father was right. I guess the men I married all thought they could change me after we were married. I certainly didn’t try to hide who I really was. There couldn’t have been any great surprises. I would think they all had to know what they were getting into. Perhaps they thought they were up for the challenge, but I have seen that when a strong woman challenges a man, it just drives him crazy. The man will usually either respond by trying to reason with me, get mad and walk away, or strike me. I don’t put up with that last response at all. I always tell them, “You just made a horrible mistake. Don’t ever do it again.”  Of course, they don’t appreciate being told this either. I begin to think I should have been born later in time. I’m hoping women are treated differently at some point.

Husband number one:  After I got married, he told me he was going to train me to be a proper woman. I had to laugh. I told him, “You know what I was like, so if you didn’t like it, why in the world would you marry me?”  He replied by saying, “I thought sure I could change you.”  I taught him that women like me don’t want to be trained. We want to be understood and accepted for who we are. I was only with husband number one for five months. We were arguing about what I should be doing around the house, and after an hour or so, I guess his tolerance level had been maxed out, and he struck me. I did stop talking. Instead, I gathered what I could hang on to in my arms and left the house. I went over to my girlfriend’s house. We talked about what had happened. She agreed with everything I had told my husband but suggested that life would be easier if I just kept my mouth shut and did whatever he asked me to.

He asked me to come back without even apologizing for what he had done. Foolishly, I did. Things were okay for a while, but then another argument came up. After he hit me for the second time, I told him I wanted a divorce. I got the piece of paper, but that was it. I guess he thought I would come crawling back to him if I couldn’t make it on my own. Ha! I’m cute, I thought. I’ll get by.

Husband number two: I tried to be more careful with the second man. I gave him more time to get to know me. I told him I was never going to change, and he said he accepted that. He courted me well. He would buy me nice things to wear. He would also buy jewelry. Fine gold necklaces and earrings.   He traveled a lot. This is where he would get a lot of the gifts that were somewhat exotic for me. By that, I mean the things we didn’t see around here. It seemed as if he would buy me something after every trip. I told him he didn’t need to, but he always said he enjoyed showing me how much he loved me just as much as he liked telling me he loved me. And wow! He knew how to use words to express his love. The man’s tongue must have been as smooth as a nicely made clay jar. I think his ability to speak smoothly is what made him a successful businessman.

We did get married, and things seemed to be going well. I was happy with this man, and he seemed pleased with me. Perhaps this relationship was working because he got frequent breaks from me. He could get away from my stubborn personality and my unbridled mouth.

I learned from my girlfriend how to keep the house. I also learned from her that I should fix one of his favorite dishes for dinner on the days he was due to return home. I began thinking I had finally found a man who accepted me. We both settled into the rhythm of the relationship. We had even started to talk about children. Then, one day, I discovered a woman’s scarf in his dirty laundry. I knew it wasn’t mine, but I didn’t want to believe for even a moment that it belonged to another.

What is this? Why is it here? Where did it come from? These were the questions that I couldn’t answer, and I seriously doubted he would answer them. On the day he returned, I had the scarf around my neck. The look on his face answered all of the questions I had wondered. He stood there and gazed at me for a while. Then he bravely told me the truth. He told me he had another wife in another town. The town where he did most of his business. He assumed the lavish gifts would keep me quiet and help me never to question where he was and what he was really doing. He also admitted that I was a very strong woman and that he had never liked it, but that he enjoyed my beauty and my playful side, and that was why he married me. Then he spoke the real truth when he informed me that his trips gave him the breaks he needed from me.

Naturally, I was crushed. Life seemed so good. When he came home from his next trip, he handed me divorce papers. At least he was nice about it. He allowed me to take anything from the home I wanted or thought I would need. He gave me money, too. I didn’t want to live with a man whose heart was divided, but I wasn’t strong enough to ask him for a divorce. Perhaps my strength as a woman was fading. I was with him for two years.

Husband number three:  After going through what I did with the first two husbands, I wanted to fight back. I wanted to hurt a man. Any man. I wanted to show them that a woman could play with one’s heart just as easily as they could. I went hunting for the right one. I would talk to them to see if they would expose any weaknesses. I wanted to learn if they were really in love with their woman or with her just for play. I wanted to try to find a man whose heart was wicked. One whose love would be untrue. I’m sad to say it didn’t take long.

I found a shop owner who seemed to be the kind of man I wanted to hurt. He was married, had several children, a high position on the town council, and a successful business. He had a lot to lose. As a bonus, I got to know his wife. A woman who thought she was the queen of Sychar, the town I lived in. She would so easily speak ill of anyone for any reason. I knew if I could pull this off, it would be a major victory.

I knew I would have to be very subtle in my plan to seduce him. I would have to start small. I would have to hold my tongue at times. Instead of my usual way, I would have to say words that a man likes to hear. I would have to list in front of him his greatness, his wealth, his status, and his power.

I put my plan into action. I would go by this man’s shop at first every other day. I would hope that on the days he didn’t see me in the flesh, he would see me in his mind that his thoughts would be turned to me. That the thought of me would begin to consume his mind. I noticed that, as I flattered him, he would look at me differently than he would at other women shopping. He would smile. I could see my plan working.

Then I started going there every day. Each visit seemed to last longer and longer. I held back from expressing my views and opinions. I complimented him on how smart he was and how he appeared to be extremely wealthy. I could see that, with each day and with each conversation, he was buying my act. And oh, how I made him pay!

It wasn’t long before he asked me to enter his shop via the back door. In the back room, he talked very seductively to me, and then he got comfortable enough to touch my arm or hold my hand.   Then, one day, he leaned over and kissed me. He wanted to go further, but I told him, “No.” I informed him that if he wanted more, he would have to get a divorce first and then marry me. He let me know he was married. After weeks of playing around, I told him he needed to make a decision. Either her or me. Four days went by before he told me of his decision. He picked me. I couldn’t believe it.

It took what seemed like forever, but we got married, and I moved into his house. His previous wife was furious. She, really, was the one that started the rumors around town about me. She called me a home wrecker. My new husband told me not to let it bother me, but it did.

It was time for “Act 3” after I got him to trust me totally. I took most of the jewelry he gave and sold it. I took most of the clothes he had bought me over to my girlfriend’s house. Then, I hid whatever money I could get my hands on. When I had done all of this, I told him I wanted a divorce. He was devastated. As a result, he lost his position on the town council. He had to sell his business. His ex-wife wouldn’t come back to him. His children despised him. The feeling of victory didn’t last long enough.

Husband number four:  This man was much older than the previous two. In fact, he was a lot older than I was. He was old enough to be my father, and he was a friend of my father’s. That is how I first met him. My father had invited him over to celebrate one of our holidays. At first, it felt really odd to fall in love with an older man, but I was drawn to him by his smile, and he was so funny. He made me laugh a lot. I always felt good when I was around him. He seemed as if he didn’t mind me for who I was, either. Maybe I made him feel young. I think, honestly, as people get older, they only get upset about the things that really matter. Somehow, they have figured out how to overlook the small things. Whatever it was, we seemed to work, and so when he proposed, I said, “Yes.”

Life was good with this man. Because he allowed me to be me, I found myself wanting to please him. For the first time, I felt like a man listened to me.   He may not have always liked what I said, but he let me speak my mind. Occasionally, he would counter what I had said, but the difference between him and other men is he let me finish what I was saying first. I guess with him, I saw his respect and love. He would also ask me what I was thinking or what I thought about a particular subject. He would even engage me in matters of government. No man had ever done that before. I really loved this man. I think that is why his sudden illness and death took such a toll on me.

He had gotten sick, it seems, overnight. I had the physician come to our house, but it turns out there was nothing he could do. He gave me some powder, and I was instructed to mix it in water. I did this faithfully, but it didn’t seem to work. He passed away within a week. He left me lots of wealth, but I lost more than anything money could buy. I had lost love. I missed him so much. We had no children together, so I couldn’t share my grief with anyone who loved him as much as I did. My mourning lasted well over a year. Others tried to console me. I would smile and say, “Thanks.” But then when I was alone again, the hurt would come flooding back in.

Husband number five:  About a year went by when I began feeling my heart had room to allow the love of another man. I truly missed the way my last husband accepted me and loved me. I missed his soft touch. I missed him brushing my hair. I missed him. I wondered if I would ever find another like the one I had lost. I decided it was time to look for another.

I put myself out there again. I met a couple of men, but they didn’t even come close to the kind of man I had. Then, one day, my girlfriend mentioned someone to me. I was skeptical at first. I hung out with him for a while. I didn’t disclose to him that I thought he was cute. I figured the longer I could hide my growing feelings for this man, the more I would see his true nature. He did seem to accept me. He was kind. He was hard-working. I told my girlfriend I liked him. Then I told him.

We got married the following month after a holiday. Everything seemed to be going well. It’s funny, after what I’ve been through with men, that I find myself trusting them so easily. Now that I was older, I had calmed down a bit with my mouth. Also, I had accepted what a woman in my time was supposed to do around the house. My girlfriend was proud of me.

The first sign of problems was when my husband told me he had lost his money belt. He said he needed to pay for some things at the market and asked me where I kept the money my last husband had left me with. I paused, and he yelled, ‘’What? You don’t trust your husband?’’ I thought about it some more, and then I told him where it was. I had the thought one can’t have real love without trust. So now he knew. Then, about two weeks later, he told me he had taken some so he could invest in a really promising business deal. I begin to get suspicious a little.

A month later, I asked him one evening how that business deal worked out.   He first asked, ‘’what business deal?’’  Then he said, ‘’O yeah. That one. Real good. Really good. In fact, it’s so good I may need to borrow more until the first deal really gets going. You know, up and running. On its own feet, so to speak, but I promise you will get so much more back in return.’’

Six months later, I realized I hadn’t looked at the place where I had kept the money for some time. I couldn’t believe what I found. Nothing! Absolutely nothing. Everything was gone. All of the money. All of the precious jewels. Everything my past husband had given me.   Gone. I just sat there on the floor and cried. I was sick to my stomach. How could I be so stupid? How could I have trusted him with so much? What did he do with it all? There was enough there to last both of us a lifetime. I was still lying there on the floor when he got home. He looked at me and said, ‘’I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. Those business deals didn’t work out after all.’’

I looked up at him with my soar bloodshot eyes and said, ‘’Tell me the truth. I deserve to know the truth.’’. He was silent for a long time, and then he said, ‘’I lost it all gambling.’’  “How could you?” I replied. Then, it all became clear to me. He just put up with me and married me for the money he suspected I had. He knew my previous husband and knew he had been a very successful businessman. Then, I learned another truth. My husband had lost his job several months ago. I was devastated. Needless to say, we got divorced. 

The boyfriend:  I needed help now to live. I was not able to survive on my own after my wealth was wiped out. Things were bad for me. Not only did I feel like a failure, I had to put up with the talk around town. People would stare and make comments whenever I walked by. They acted as if they thought I couldn’t hear them, but they knew the truth was I did. Their words hurt, but I just kept my head down and would keep going.

Because I became a social outcast, I found it less hurtful to draw water from the well at noon. The hot sun hurt, too, but at least it kept its commentary concerning my life to itself. My new life wasn’t the greatest, but I managed. The day-to-day duties kept my mind occupied most of the time. Then one day when I went to the well this man was there. I knew he was a Jew. Then he did the oddest thing. He spoke to me. You see, in my day, a Jew did not speak to a Samaritan. He asked for a drink of water. Then he said, ‘’Woman if you knew who I am, you would ask me for a drink.’’ I looked at him kind of crazy like and said, ‘’The well is deep, and you don’t even have a means to draw the water.’’ He went on to say, ‘’The water I speak of comes from within me. If you drank of it, you would never thirst again.’’  I certainly wanted some of this water, for I was so tired of hauling it. I asked him for some of this living water. He then told me to get my husband and come back. I wasn’t sure what to say.

After realizing this man didn’t know me or my reputation, I felt safe telling him that I had no husband.   Then, the most amazing thing happened. He looked at me with tenderness and said, ‘’That’s nicely put. For you have had five husbands, and the man you are currently living with isn’t your husband.’’ I responded by saying that he must be a prophet. Then we talked about which mountain to worship on, and he informed me that one day, it won’t matter where you worship God, and even better, it won’t matter what you are called. That the only thing that will really matter is your heart. If you worship God in spirit and in truth. I wasn’t sure about all of this. I told him that, and I informed him that one day, the Messiah would show up to set it all straight. He then told me, ‘’I am He.’’

I ran back to town and started telling everyone, no matter what they thought of me, about this man at the well who knew everything about me. I challenged them by saying, ‘’I think this man is the Messiah! He was able to tell me everything about my life.’’ They all went out to see him for themselves.

I realized later in life that I was made the way I was for that very moment. In other words, I was not afraid to speak out loud to anyone. I was not afraid to express my views, beliefs, or convictions. After the day that went well, I never missed an opportunity to share with anyone about the Messiah, this man named Jesus.

(The actual account can be found in the Bible. John 4:1-42)

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If you have never had your own encounter with Jesus Christ, know that you can. He is waiting for you to accept his offer of forgiveness for your sins. With that begins a relationship that brings hope, encouragement, comfort, and guidance with the added bonus of eternal life. Along the way, you can ask for help with anything. Problems in life, relationships, and healing. Having a relationship with Jesus is the best thing you will ever do with your life. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are real. So are heaven and hell. There are no other alternatives. Encounter Jesus and change your life.

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