“Hi.  My name is Jesus Christ.  I’m not running for your vote to be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords for I already am.  I do give you promises though.  I promise to never leave you nor forsake you.  I promise to love you and accept you even if no one else does.  I promise to stick closer to you than a brother, and unlike others, I never break my promises.  Also if you bring to my house just 10% of what I have already given you I promise to open the windows of heaven and pour out blessings upon you.”

“You can count on me to be there for you.  To help you with your life.  Help you in making key decisions.  To help in dealing with relationships with those around you.  I came that you may have life, and to have it more abundantly, and above all else I died for you, so that you can live forever in heaven.”

Make a decision today to accept me.  You don’t even have to wait until November 8^th.  You can accept me early.  My name is Jesus Christ, and I approve this ad.”