marriage

Would You Take 5 Minutes?

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment
Image generated via AI.

Have you noticed how every store and company lately is asking you to take a few minutes to fill out their survey? They sometimes entice you by saying your name will be entered for a “chance” to win a prize. I have often wondered if anyone “ever” wins. One definition of the word “survey” is to investigate the opinions or experiences of people by asking them questions.

I don’t think I am brave enough to send a survey to April, but if I did, I might get her to take five minutes and fill it out if I offered her the “chance” to go on a shopping spree. The survey would probably look something like this:

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is “Not satisfied at all,” and 10 is “Very satisfied,” rate Mark on the following issues. Please circle your response.

“How is Mark doing with helping out around the house?”
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10                                           

“How is Mark doing with seeing your needs?”
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

“How is Mark doing with loving you?”
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

“How likely are you to want to stay in this marriage with Mark?”
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

“How likely are you to tell a friend about how Mark is doing?”
1          2          3          4          5          6          7          8          9          10

“Is there anything you would like Mark to do better?”
Comment: _________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

“Please list anything you would like Mark to change.”
Comment: _________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

“May we contact you concerning your responses?”

I don’t need to send April a survey. Over the last five, no wait, six years, I have noticed that when I am doing a good job, she sings around the house. She is more relaxed. She gets funny and goofy, which I love.

The other day, she was throwing items into our shopping cart as if they were basketballs. Then, when she wanted to verify that the item she wanted to purchase was the correct one, she opened the package in the store and said, “This is America. I can do this!” (You don’t open items in stores in the Philippines.) Both actions made me laugh.

So, today, I got it right. I loved on April enough to cause her to sing. It’s almost as if when I hugged her or squeezed her, joy came oozing out.

His anger lasts only a moment.
    But his kindness lasts for a lifetime.
Crying may last for a night.
    But joy comes (oozing out) in the morning.
Ps. 30:5 (ICB) [words in parentheses, mine.]

“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly…singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
Colossians 3:16

Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.”
James 5:13b

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them.”
Psalm 126:2

Copyright © 2025 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

How to Train Your Wife

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

PLEASE READ IN IT’S ENTIRETY BEFORE FIRING OFF EMAILS!

Image generated via AI.

There is a new movie being advertised, “How to Train Your Dragon,” and for some “old-age” reason I heard, “How to Train Your Wife!” I know, right? I have no idea what caused such a brain fart to occur. I mean, is that even possible? And God help the husband who dares try! He will probably be speaking soon to the law firm of “You Dumb Butt” and “It’s Over!”

But seriously, what if your spouse needs “tweaking?” How does one go about it?

Our spouse is our helpmate, but if you cannot agree on an issue, what do you do? April allows me to be the head of the household. When it’s the other way around, people get hurt, and not just in the immediate family. She knows if we cannot agree, I will make the final decision. Now, this is not to lord over April, but she knows that I am accountable to God for the decision that was made. A position not to be taken lightly.

A few years ago, she revealed her secret as to how she gets (sometimes) what she wants or what she thinks is best for us. She doesn’t get mad, kick and scream, or give me any attitude at all. What she does is, she prays. She goes to God and appeals to him to speak to my heart. She asks Him to guide me and lead me as I do my best to lead our family. She knows that I know how to hear the voice of the Lord, and when I do, I have no problem changing my decision. And I certainly want God’s help. I know I definitely need it!

April commented the other day, “I pray every morning for God to change me.” What she meant was to help her in the areas of life where she struggles sometimes. I replied to her, “Maybe God likes the way you are or the way He made you?”

If there is a way to train your wife or husband, I would say it is through prayer. It’s a loving, gentle approach to changing someone. I have heard several testimonies of women praying, sometimes for years, without giving up for God to change their husbands. Don’t quote me on this, but I think Miss Kay of Duck Dynasty fame is such a woman. Not only did God change her husband, Phil, but his change also affected an entire family and perhaps countless others!

Thank you, God, for praying wives. Perhaps I should change the title to “How to Train Your Husband.” Encourage us all, Lord God, to pray without ceasing when the person or situation requires change. I, for one, am so grateful for change.

13b-18 Live together in peace, and our instruction to this end is to reprimand the unruly, encourage the timid, help the weak and be very patient with all men. Be sure that no one repays a bad turn by a bad turn; good should be your objective always, among yourselves and in the world at large. Be happy in your faith at all times. Never stop praying. Be thankful, whatever the circumstances may be. If you follow this advice you will be working out the will of God expressed to you in Jesus Christ.
1 Thes. 5:13b-18 (PHILLIPS)

The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]. Jam. 5:16b (AMPC)

Copyright © 2025 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

Wedding Vows

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

Most of us have either heard or said traditional wedding vows. There was my nervous cousin who said, “Till death do we fart.” Of course, we all laughed, especially me and my father. At least until my mother rib punched both of us. His twin brother kept shaking as he tried to maintain his composure.

In case it has been a while, here they are:

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

Some of us would prefer these vows:

“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for richer, and in health, to love and to cherish, happily ever after.”

But life isn’t a fairy tale, and there are ups and downs. Do you realize that after you accept Jesus into your life, you become the Bride of Christ? It’s true.

One of the Seven Angels who had carried the bowls filled with the seven final disasters spoke to me: “Come here. I’ll show you the Bride, the Wife of the Lamb.” Rev. 21:9 (MSG)

Let us celebrate, let us rejoice,
    let us give him the glory!
The Marriage of the Lamb has come;
    his Wife has made herself ready.
She was given a bridal gown
    of bright and shining linen.
The linen is the righteousness of the saints. Rev. 19:7-8 (MSG)

So here is my point to today’s blog post: When we accept Jesus, we enter into an intimate, personal relationship with Him. In sickness and in health. For richer and poorer. For good days and bad days. He helps us get through all the days of our life. But here is the best part: we don’t separate at death but actually come face to face for eternity!

Copyright © 2024 Mark Brady  All Rights Reserved

He Speaks

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

 “Or, God might get their attention through pain…”  Job 33:19a (MSG)

God has a hierarchy to many things, and not to be old fashion but that applies to marriages as well.  Why?  And what does that mean?  In any type of union, marriage, business, ministry, etc. there has to be one individual who has the final say so.  BUT, that one individual is also the one who is accountable for the results of making those decisions, and the one they are accountable to, is God.

In a marriage situation when the man steps into his role of leadership, and as the one who is accountable, his spouse is then under an umbrella of protection, EVEN if she disagrees with her husband.  But, when the woman tries to fulfill the role of the man, people get hurt!  I have witnessed this first hand.

In the course of one year, I had to go through two very hurtful situations.  In both cases, the husbands allowed their spouses to cause great pain in my life, and they wouldn’t say anything to them about how wrong they were.  You see, those husbands have allowed their wives to fill their roll. “Head of Household.”

I wound up praying for the couples and asked God to deal with the men and to speak to them.  There’s no reason why people should continue getting hurt, and then I distanced myself from them.  Later that year, I found out that both of those men were down while they were recovering from knee replacement surgery.  I wondered if God allowed that to happen attempting to get them on their one good knee to pray and seek him concerning how things are going in their marriage, in their life.

In any marriage, business, union, and especially ministry, if God has given you the keys to authority, then don’t give anyone else those keys.  Who you give them to is not the one who will stand before God and give an account for the results, you will.

This isn’t about equal rights, equality, or glass ceilings, but about order, accountability, and individuals not getting hurt.

If your ministry, union, business, or marriage is “Out of Order” and isn’t working then go to God and ask Him to show you.  God will speak.  He probably has been for many years, but you haven’t been listening.  Each time you get hurt and there is not instant healing, perhaps its God trying to get your attention through pain.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Wife of the Month

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

090120I would like to nominate April for “Wife of the Month”.  For the month of September, she can use the special parking space.  That is, if she was here in America, and if she could drive.  She has completed the immigration process, but can’t take the final step because her country is still in “lock down” mode, so the U.S. Embassy isn’t doing interviews.  Being separated is difficult, but I can see how God has used it for His glory thus far.

Last week, I sent her the following message, and though it is personal, she agreed to let me share it:

Baby, I love you! I simply love you, because you have God’s DNA in you, and it shows. In you is peace, joy, faith, hope and love. Of course the greatest of these is, love. Because love, never fails! Baby, when you look back over our short marriage, you can see a trail of love that has dripped over the mountains we have overcome, and across the ocean that separates us now. Without love, God’s love, we would not have come this far. The story of “Mark and April” would have been a short one, but as it is, our story, is still being written.

I couldn’t wait any longer Baby April. I know our 18 month anniversary isn’t until next week, September 1st, but I just had to let the words above out. I was unable to contain them any longer. So Happy Anniversary, April. I am so happy to be known as the American, who married April Joy Santiago Cruz, and has so far, survived.  I am a lucky man who is blessed by God. He loved me so much that He hid you from the eyes of others, for such a time as this. I know two, maybe three of those men looked your way, but because of your wonderful faithfulness to God they gave up in their pursuit.

Our story, feels like it is taking forever to be written, but I know we are steadily moving every day toward his destination for our lives. Baby April, each day it gets easier to love you, because you, like God, are love.

To you April, the love of my life,
Mark

I am grateful for God’s love, and for his tender nudge to try marriage again, after checking the “Divorced” box for 24 years.  April struggled with her singleness a lot, and most who knew her started believing  “marriage” had passed her by.  But God had a plan that took years to connect two individuals who were 8,149 miles apart.  It’s like He set her on a shelf, so she would be available for me that one Friday afternoon, in October 2018, when I first saw her face on a Filipino dating site.

It’s hard to trust God, who doesn’t always share what He is up to, but when you do, it’s worth it!  God is so amazing, and I am so grateful, He first loved us.

Copyright © 2020 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Pick up Lines from the Bible

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

songofsolomonpagehead

I tried to use the following line on a woman the other day.  “You’re so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hillside in the sunshine.”

It didn’t work.  I got it from the book; Song of Solomon, chapter 4:1.

But there is one, in the Bible, who tries to pick us up.  He uses lines like, “Come.” “Come along with me.”  “Come, who are tired, and I will give you rest.”  Some do.  They accept the invitation.

Then they begin a journey into the greatest love of all time.  They accept His commandments that actually changes how they live their life.  This love changes how they act toward others, and even family members.  It changes how they speak, and later they will become the bride of Christ, and truly live happily ever after.

 Copyright © 2017 Mark Brady, All rights reserved

Love? Or in Love?

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

I met a woman today who was absolutely beautiful! As we talked I could discern this woman was also wise.  While talking the subject turned to marriage.  Her face lit up as she spoke of love, and marriage.  She shared with me the great love of her life. You see the woman I was speaking to was a widow. She mentioned how it is a give and take of both sides.  She said one has to give 50%, but at times you may have to give more like 70%, and one should be willing to, for a season.  She told how a marriage takes work and lots of it!  She mentioned how today too many take marriage so lightly.  She said a lot of people “love”, but asked how many couples are “in love”?

Wow!  My heart was stirred by how she spoke of love.  I asked her if she would like to go out on a date.  She asked me if I had my own car and could still drive? Oh, I guess I should mention this beautiful lady was 92 years old.

I’m divorced, and for the longest time feared of allowing myself to love again knowing I could get hurt again. If you want to be married you must first be willing to risk.  If you don’t take the risk of being hurt or having your heart broken again then you aren’t going to live life fully!  Sure, you can play it SAFE, but is that living?

Jesus risked all to love us.  He gave 100%.  He was willing to live among us in order to really love us.  He knew his heart would be broken many times by the very ones he loved, yet Jesus is still “in love” with us.