controlling

Angry man shouting and gesturing in middle of heavy traffic jam with cars honking — Image generated via AI.

When You Try to Control Other Drivers… and Accidentally Preach a Sermon

Let’s be honest: nothing reveals our inner theologians quite like driving in traffic. There you are, minding your own business, listening to worship music, sipping your coffee, when suddenly the driver in front of you decides to turn into a professional snail. Not a casual snail. A motivated snail. A snail with purpose.

And instantly, you become the self‑appointed Traffic Prophet of the Lord, declaring judgment upon lane drifters, brake tappers, and people who apparently believe turn signals are optional spiritual gifts. But here’s the twist: Trying to control other drivers is exactly like trying to control people in our lives — it never works, it stresses us out, and it reveals more about our hearts than theirs.

The Illusion of Dashboard Sovereignty

We grip the wheel like we’re Moses holding the staff over the Red Sea, expecting traffic to part on command. But the truth is, we have zero control over other drivers, other people’s decisions, other people’s pace, and other people’s reactions. We only control our own steering wheel — literally and spiritually. Scripture backs this up. Paul writes: “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 Translation: You handle your lane. God handles theirs.

The Spiritual Traffic Jam

Trying to control people is like yelling at the car in front of you. They can’t hear you. They don’t care. And even if they could hear you, they still wouldn’t speed up. We do the same thing in relationships. “If they would just listen…” “If they would just change…” “If they would just do it my way…” But Proverbs 19:21 reminds us: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” You can plan their lane all you want — God still holds the map.

God, the Ultimate GPS

Think of God as the only GPS that actually knows what He’s doing. We, on the other hand, are the backseat drivers of the universe. “God, turn here!” “God, they need to change now!” “God, why are You letting them merge? They don’t deserve to merge!” But Isaiah 55:8–9 gently taps us on the shoulder: “My thoughts are not your thoughts…My ways are higher than your ways.” In other words: “You don’t see the whole road, buddy.”

The Freedom of Staying in Your Lane

When we stop trying to control other people, something amazing happens. Our stress drops. Our joy rises. Our relationships breathe. And we finally let God do His job. Galatians 5:22–23 says the fruit of the Spirit includes patience and self‑control — not other‑people control. Trying to control others is exhausting. Trusting God is peaceful.

Final Thought: The Holy Turn Signal

If Jesus were physically riding shotgun with us, He wouldn’t say, “Speed up and show them who’s boss.” Or, “Lay on the horn of righteousness.” And not even, “Cut them off in the name of sanctification.” He’d probably say something like, “Follow Me… and use your turn signal.” Because spiritual maturity looks a lot like driving maturity. Stay in your lane. Keep your eyes forward. Don’t chase people who cut you off. And trust the One who sees the whole road.

I am so guilty of doing both. Trying to control other drivers and, unfortunately, people, too. I have thought a lot about “why” I even try, and not saying I’m perfect- far from it- but I try really hard to get “life” right, and honestly, I think I do a pretty good job! Especially when it comes to driving. And the other part is this: I treat people the way I want to be treated. When I’m not, I get overcome with anger or, at the least, disappointment.

I have recently started, when driving, if a driver does something I don’t approve of, I have started saying, “Boy, they need God.” And then I pray for them. It’s difficult to react wrongly when you are praying. This post ministers to me a lot! I hope it helps you as well.

051420 There once was a lady, no, not from Nantucket, who was a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother, a worker, and a church goer. Yes, she seemed to once have a strong love for God, family, people in general, and especially children.

I thought I knew her, but after being separated off and on over the years, it took me a while to notice it, but after being around this lady again, I could tell something had changed.

I suspected many things, which I won’t go into, but it wasn’t until today, as I was talking about her that I labeled the problem correctly. Love had leaked out over the years. Perhaps even unnoticed by her, but she had changed. To friends, family and fellow church goers it’s got to be obvious.

So how did this happen? I think she had gotten hurt over the years and never dealt with it. Hurt by her husband, her children, friends, work situations, other family members, and yes, even by those at her church. You see, there seems to be a connection between getting hurt, not dealing with it in a proper manner, like going to God with it, and love. Also, if one is not getting filled back up on love by spending time with God then a person runs low. It’s not obvious, because there is no internal dip stick for our love tanks.

When love leaks out, others get hurt. A lack of love can cause many problems, so it is very important to know if you are leaking love, and why. If you have experienced great pain from a conversation or situation last week, last year, or several years ago, please deal with it. Either try to go back to the person who hurt you, and if that is not possible then definitely go to God with it, and ask him to help you overcome the pain.

I found myself going to God, because when I confronted the women mentioned above and shared how she had hurt me she replied, “Well just get over it!” I was stunned, and now hurt worse. A wounded person may come across as cynical, judgmental, critical, hateful, difficult, controlling, and even as a racist. When love runs out it is replaced with these, and other negative attitudes.

I wonder if, after sinning, she tells God, “just get over it!”

It’s hard to love these type of people. In my case, I now stay away to protect my heart and I pray for her. I hope God will bring her, and others like her to a situation where they one day see how low on love they are. It’s not too late for them. God can easily love them back to full, but they need to get close to him, know him, converse with him and read his word. You see, living with love shared takes two. If only one sided, it is simply, love given.