It’s Not Them, It’s Him

A woman’s friend stopped talking to her after being her best friend for 30 years. A man’s children disowned him. Another man’s own mother and sister have nothing to do with him. One woman doesn’t get invited to the family’s Christmas gathering.

What is it about these individuals? Why would people not want to be around them? Are they bad people? Rude? Inconsiderate? I know them, and the answer is not at all. But the one thing they all have in common is this; they all walk with God, and God’s presence surrounding them is strong.

People can sense God’s presence even though they do not see it. The funny thing about this is; when they are in that moment, there is a reaction. Some might sense it and celebrate, praise Him, or feel His love and be joyful. Others might sense guilt or conviction. It is this second reaction that drives people away. Little do they know that God isn’t condemning them but drawing them to accept His love, His Son, Jesus, and experience freedom. Yet they do not accept this truth but continue to believe the enemy’s lies that their way is better. Like a magnet, they repel from the one who walks with God.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world should be saved through him. John 3:17 (NET)

A fellow blogger and I were discussing this recently. She commented on the price of picking up your cross and following Him. She’s right, but it hurts to be rejected. Jesus knows all too well about that. Yet it is only for a season because, in the end, we will be surrounded by those who love and choose God. So it really isn’t them, but Him.


If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. John 15:18 (NIV)

He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. John 1:11 (NIV)

But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason. John 15:25 (NIV)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

It’s Not Me, it’s You

Have you ever found yourself in one of those relationships where the other person does something that offends you, or hurts you? And then when you tried to share with them how it bothered you they act out and try to turn things around as if it was your fault. What the heck? Right? It can be extremely frustrating.

I was thinking about this scenario and feeling exasperated. I asked God about it as I do now when I am in need of wisdom and understanding. He is so faithful to provide an answer. He shared with me that when you speak “truth” it can convict. This can make them uncomfortable and they can get defensive. The other thing that may happen is they will distance themselves from you.

It may be they come up with excuses as to why they can’t get together anymore, or stop inviting you to events, or family gatherings. What makes it hard on you is they convince themselves and others that “you” are the problem, but it is NOT you, it’s them!

I know it hurts. It’s not right. It’s an injustice. So how do we handle it? As difficult as it is, we must still love them, and pray for them. Realize you are in good company! Jesus was falsely accused. Some of the people around him, religious leaders of that day, etc. were confronted with Truth. It convicted how they should be living. To push Jesus out of their lives they crucified him. I don’t think your family and friends will go to that extreme so don’t despair.

Keep in mind when Jesus wants to enter a person’s life, heart, He stands at the door and knocks. He waits for an invitation to enter. We cannot force someone to change. Continue to speak the truth in love, and hope that your loving actions will be used by the Holy Spirit to work into their hearts.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens to and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will eat with him, and he [will eat] with Me. Rev. 3:20 (AMPC)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.