coworkers | brady, mark a.

I heard it said the other day, “Every relationship is a transaction.” This expression caught my attention, and I have thought a lot about it. What the man who said those words went on to share was this, “In each relationship, you are either giving or taking.”

In my lifetime, I have been in a lot of different types of relationships. Working relationships, family relationships, friendships, general acquaintances, and marriage to name just a few. So what the man was saying was that in each one of those relationships, one was giving and one was taking, or at least some percentage of both.

Was I the giver? Or was I the taker? Or somehow did I manage the relationship to give and take? Did I take more than I gave? In some of those encounters with those individuals was I fair? Was I ever starving for so much that I partook first before considering the other’s needs?

I know me and in full disclosure, I have to consciously make an effort to stop talking and purposely make myself ask the other person questions about them. I like to talk, I like to tell stories, after all, I am a writer. But there are times when it is best to not say a word about me, and to listen, to inquire, and show that I care about them.

Jesus certainly was a giver in every relationship. He gave comfort, hope, and teachings on how to live an abundant life, and He still does! He also gave his life so that we may live eternally with Him in heaven.

Are you a giver, or a taker? Magkano (ma-con-o) in Tagalog (language of the Philippines) means “how much?” A phrase I learned to ask my tricycle driver when he would taxi me into town, or back home. It wasn’t long for the local ones to not answer me when I asked them, “Magkano?” I think word had gotten out that the American who had married April Joy Santiago Cruz was generous, and he would often pay more than the actual cost. This was a good reputation to have.

Be a giver. When meeting someone, ask yourself on the inside, magkano? Meaning how much is this going to cost me? You may have a lot of untold stories pent up inside, but investing in another person is always a good investment to make. They will certainly be richer for it, and in many ways, so will you! This will be a good reputation to have.

What is that a shadow of? I asked myself. I turned slowly to see it was being made by a man. A young, tall, thin man sporting a “man bun”. He just stood there and starred while I completed my task. I felt weirded out, to say the least. I saw him at other times and made a decision that I didn’t like him. Why? Because of how he looked? Because he didn’t say anything? Perhaps.

About a month later he was in front of me with a young man. He asked if his son could mow the lawn. At first I was tempted to flee the scene as fast as possible by responding with a kind, “No thank you.” But inside, I knew that wouldn’t do. I introduced myself and learned their names. I told the father I noticed he was new to the neighborhood, and asked why if he didn’t mind sharing. He said, “I’ve been away for a while.” Instantly I had the gift of knowledge as I heard in my spirit, “prison”. I didn’t mention it to him.

After the lawn was mowed, trimmed, and cleaned up I went outside to pay the young man. After handing the money to him I turned to the father and felt as if I was to honor him. I said, “I respect the fact that you are teaching your son the value of hard work and of earning money.” He smiled. I wondered if anyone had ever honored him before. Judging by the surprise look on his face I am guessing not. I think it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. I know listening to the Holy Spirit lead me in the situation and conversation made me feel that way. Later on I saw him outside and asked, “Would you like some tomatoes? We have more than we can use from our harvest.” When I gave them to him and some chili peppers he smiled again. He told me he loves spicy food.

Later that night I was reflecting on the events, and the conversation with him of the day. I realized this was the beginning of what I call, “Life style evangelism.” You come across normal when they first encounter you. You help them, bless them, or simply give them your time. Then, after a while, they will notice there is something different about you than in others, and they ask, “What makes you different?” They always ask. It is in that moment you can tell them about the love of Jesus Christ that dwells within you, and that He is the Hope of the world.

“the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even
among far-off unbelievers.” Mat. 12:21 (MSG)

Because they have first seen “love in action” they will listen. And hopefully they will respond to the Holy Spirit working within them and accept that love, accept Jesus. But all of this has to start with an action. That action is seeing them!

“the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even among far-off unbelievers.” Mat. 12:21 (MSG)

“the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even
among far-off unbelievers.” Mat. 12:21 (MSG)