It’s Not Me, it’s You

Have you ever found yourself in one of those relationships where the other person does something that offends you, or hurts you? And then when you tried to share with them how it bothered you they act out and try to turn things around as if it was your fault. What the heck? Right? It can be extremely frustrating.

I was thinking about this scenario and feeling exasperated. I asked God about it as I do now when I am in need of wisdom and understanding. He is so faithful to provide an answer. He shared with me that when you speak “truth” it can convict. This can make them uncomfortable and they can get defensive. The other thing that may happen is they will distance themselves from you.

It may be they come up with excuses as to why they can’t get together anymore, or stop inviting you to events, or family gatherings. What makes it hard on you is they convince themselves and others that “you” are the problem, but it is NOT you, it’s them!

I know it hurts. It’s not right. It’s an injustice. So how do we handle it? As difficult as it is, we must still love them, and pray for them. Realize you are in good company! Jesus was falsely accused. Some of the people around him, religious leaders of that day, etc. were confronted with Truth. It convicted how they should be living. To push Jesus out of their lives they crucified him. I don’t think your family and friends will go to that extreme so don’t despair.

Keep in mind when Jesus wants to enter a person’s life, heart, He stands at the door and knocks. He waits for an invitation to enter. We cannot force someone to change. Continue to speak the truth in love, and hope that your loving actions will be used by the Holy Spirit to work into their hearts.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens to and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will eat with him, and he [will eat] with Me. Rev. 3:20 (AMPC)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Search Me?

23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
    find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
    get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
    then guide me on the road to eternal life. Ps. 139:23-24 (MSG)

It takes guts to pray the above prayer.  Most of us don’t want to face the truth of who we really are.  And in fact go great lengths at times to hide the darker side of ourselves, from others, and even from ourselves.  My pastor last Sunday challenged us to do just that.  To have God examine us and see if there was any wrong in us.  Whether deeds, motives, or actions.

There are some people that have such an intense time facing who they really are that they try their best to stay busy.  One guy I know said he is always looking for the next party.  The worst time for these people is when they are alone in the dark and they can’t sleep, their conscience begins to speak.  That is probably why these same people medicate themselves before going to bed so they do not have to listen to their inner voice.

That inner voice is doing its job.  It’s trying hard to get a person to face truth.  Truth they have done some things in life that were wrong and they are in need of having those things forgiven.  Another force at work is that of the Holy Spirit.  One of his jobs is to draw us to God via the forgiving power of Jesus.

If you find yourself in this situation the only thing to do is yield.  Give up trying to write your own religion and accept the relationship that God has already provided.  Say to God, “then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

It’s Christmas at Denny’s Tonight

I dream of what my life might have been, if only…

Do you live with regret?  I could, if I allowed myself to.  I sometimes wonder what the church would look like if I had stayed on track and became the pastor I believed God had called me to be.  Would we, the people of the church be an Acts chapter 2 type of church?  Believing in, and walking out the power of the Holy Spirit.  Would we see souls saved daily?  What about signs and wonders?  If only.

But instead, I stopped holding on to, waiting for the promises of God, and I accepted the devil’s substitute for my life, because it was there, now, in the moment.  I just had to believe the lies he was telling me that it was okay.  Kind of like accepting the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.  As I mentioned in my last blog post, Satan tempts or attacks us where we are weak.

Life didn’t end there, for me, as I imagined it would.  I could have become a shell of a man.  I didn’t.  I received God’s forgiveness, asked that his Spirit not depart from me, and moved on.  That is what one should do when things don’t work out the way we think they should.

I read a post on Facebook the other day.  A young woman just had a child in the hospital, but after returning home her and her husband came down with Covid.  The baby was fine, but had to be separated from his new mother.  The baby’s father had to return to the hospital, this time in the intensive care unit.  The young mother wrote something along the lines of, “We dreamed of hiking in the mountains with a tour guide.  But now we are hiking through this with the Lord as our guide.”

Life is not going the way they dreamed, but her focus remains on target.  On the Lord.

That is the only way to deal with potential regret.  Give it to him, and continue to seek him for guidance, for his leading.  He knows the way.  Life may feel like Christmas at Denny’s, but it doesn’t have to.  It comes down to your perspective.  Your view of life.  Is your current situation a set back?  A delay?  A roadblock, or simply a detour?  No matter what it is, God can speak into your spirit and say, “Recalculating.”  God knows the way.  He will get you through the storm and to the other side.

Trust in the Lord completely,
    and do not rely on your own opinions.
    With all your heart rely on him to guide you,
    and he will lead you in every decision you make.
Become intimate with him in whatever you do,
    and he will lead you wherever you go Prov. 3:5-6 (TPT)

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

The Unexpected Sermon

“It’s okay.  It’s all in the past,” said my great niece as she waved her hands back and forth down low by her side.  She had gotten caught doing something that turned out okay, but would not had been sanctioned by either of her parents.

We laughed as my mother shared the story of the incident with my wife and me, but later in the week my wife quoted my great niece after doing something I did not appreciate.  Yes it’s true, I’m a recovering control freak, and I always argue that I like things done a certain way, because to me it seems like the fastest and easiest way to accomplish that task.  I know, there are many ways to doing some things, and there are times when someone would rather do it their way.

It may seem silly, but my four year old great niece preached with conviction a sermon I needed to hear, but more than that, live out!  I have spent the last several days practicing to let things go and not to mention that my wife may have done or said something that turned out okay, but not something I would have done.  And you know what?  Our marriage is better for it!

In those times when we mess up, do things that God would rather we hadn’t, and we go to him and ask for forgiveness, he always says, “Its okay.  You’re forgiven.  It’s now in the past.”

God makes everything come out right;
    he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work,
    opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace;
    not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
    nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
    nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
    so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
    he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
    God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out,
    keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.
Men and women don’t live very long;
    like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
    leaving nothing to show they were here.
God’s love, though, is ever and always,
    eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children
    as they follow his Covenant ways
    and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalms 103:6-18 MSG)

Forgiveness is not a license to go sin more, or even again, but it lifts the burden of guilt off of us, and allows us to go on, living life in peace.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

It’s Not My Fault

One thing that gets me upset faster than most is encountering someone with a self-righteous attitude.  You’ve met them too I’m sure somewhere in life.  It doesn’t take long to discover them.  As soon as they tell you their life story, or if they hit your car and jump out and say it was your fault even though it wasn’t.

Well, I had another run in this past week with such a person.  I have known them for a few months now and have heard how their current life issues are a result of everyone else.  Sure, other’s actions do affect us, I get that, but at the same time we have to take responsibility for our part, and for our decisions.

After the person blamed me for their current displeasure I will be honest and say, I got mad!  Very mad, and I made enough noise to let them know of my displeasure.  I’m trying to learn how to respond to everyone and in every situation with one or more of the fruit of the Spirit, but I failed that day. I didn’t say a word, but they knew I didn’t like it.  I decided the best thing to do was to remove myself from their presence.  Being honest, I was concerned I would say something that they would use against me in the future.

But the whole time I was stewing I kept thinking this:

“When you stand before God, are you going to try to blame someone else for not accepting Jesus?”

These self-righteous individuals may think they are getting by with it here on earth, but in heaven I’m confident it will be a different situation.  I’ve often wondered if their attitude makes them feel better about themselves.  I mean what’s so bad about being wrong?  Apologize and then move on.  We are human after all, and in heaven, if you have accepted Jesus Christ then your wrong doing have been forgiven.

I feel sorry for people like the one I encountered this past week.  They are believing lies the devil puts in their mind, and those lies may, someday, determine where they spend eternity.  That’s a long time to regret your decisions! It’s possible that blaming others most of your life will make it difficult to identify as someone who does this, but perhaps there is a sliver of truth in you somewhere.

If you consider yourself self-righteous then I pray you will learn to be bold and brave and stop believing the lies, and face the reality of the truth and stop hurting others, but also stop hurting yourself.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Truth or Dare?

Charlie 030720“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”  A famous line from the movie A Few Good Men, yelled at Tom Cruise by the one and only Jack Nicholson.  Jack’s character thought his actions, which wound up killing a man, were right, because of the location of where they were serving in the military.  He thought his truth was real.

In my early elementary days, a school bully forced me to do something that was wrong, very wrong.  I didn’t tell anyone because I was bound by fear of getting beat up if I did.  I think the bully lived in fear of being exposed.  I found it odd when that same bully came up to me at our 10 year high school reunion and apologized.  I think his admission of guilt, once and for all, set him free.  All those years he may have justified his actions in a number of ways thinking it was truth, but it wasn’t.

I have witnessed firsthand, the damage that can be caused when someone’s truth is their reality, when in reality their truth isn’t the truth at all.  Some may be afraid to face, or own up to the truth.  Those individuals may be afraid of what the truth coming out will do to them, or to their reputation.  I can’t help but think of big time movie producer who recently was found guilty of wrong doing.  Now that people have learned the truth his life will never be the same.  Fear can bind you up, but the truth can set you free. John 8:32

Will you accept the truth, or forever dare to believe a lie?

There have been so many times people around me have chosen to believe lies told about me.  Those situations always seem to hurt the worse.  What really hurts is when those same individuals haven’t even asked me for my side of the story.  The only comfort I can grab a hold of is this; the truth always comes out.  If not here, while on earth, then one day, as we all stand before God, the truth will finally be told.

Copyright © 2020 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.