marriage

Why “MB4384?”

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

Our home WIFI was upgraded the other day, receiving a new gateway. “MB4384” was the name of our old network name, but for a specific reason, we could no longer use it. As I was getting all of our devices reconnected to the WIFI via the gateway’s default name and password, I told April we needed to come up with a network name and password. Of course, something easy to remember.

We discussed many options for both. We finally settled on “KUYA_MARK,” Tagalog for “Brother Mark.” We assumed no one in the neighborhood was using that for a network name. Then we came up with a password we could recall without having to look it up. Again, I reconnected all of our devices to the new network. That’s almost worst than having to turn all of your clocks backward.

“MB4384” became my company user name 17 years ago after SBC purchased AT&T. It took some time to get used to it. I had no idea how in the world they came up with that pattern of letters and numbers, but now I do. God had his hand in it!

Being extraordinarily vulnerable and transparent, getting married again after 24 some years of being single hasn’t been easy. There have been times I have wondered if I did the right thing. I know there were several events and moments of confirmation, but nothing beats what I am about to tell you.

As we were discussing possible names, April disclosed that she thought I changed my WIFI network name to “MB4384” after I met her. She didn’t know it was my AT&T user ID. I was confused, but I told her I used that name when I moved into the house five years ago. Thirteen months before I ever met April. Then I asked her, “Why did you think I changed it after meeting you?” She replied, are you ready for this? “Because that is my birthday.”

Yeah, that’s right. April was born on April 3, 1984, or 04/03/84 or 4384.

I teared up. Then I laughed as I thought about how funny God is. He knew 17 years ago (well, honestly forever) I would need another confirmation that no matter how hard getting used to being married again is for me, it is worth it because God ordained it. When you see that kind of love in action, it’s almost impossible not to trust that God knows what He is doing and that He has to have a purpose for us.

Thank you, God, for loving me.

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jer. 29:11 (MSG)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

He Finished Well

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

Later today, I am going to the funeral of the man pictured here, a friend.  I have known this man for probably 54 years.  After I heard the news last Friday evening, I was latter on Facebook.  A lady from his church posted his obituary and arrangements.  Below her post, people who knew him, started remembering, and honoring him.  They commented about his smile, his kindness, his servant’s heart, and his laughter. They were good words.

I begin reflecting on this out pouring of love, and thought about what kind of life one lives that moves people to respond as they were.  It didn’t take long for the answer to appear in my heart.

First, and foremost, you love.  You love God, and then love others.  You chose to ignore what other people say about someone, and you love them anyway.

Secondly, you show kindness.  You show it at work, at church, in your community, and at home.  With customers, family and friends.

Third, you serve others, which really is “love” in action. One man posted how my friend came and got them after their car would not start.

You do all this, not to receive kind words spoken or written about you when you die, but because this is the example Christ demonstrated for us while he walked the earth.  It’s simply the kind of life God calls us to.

7 I have fought an excellent fight. I have finished my full course with all my might and I’ve kept my heart full of faith. 8 There’s a crown of righteousness waiting in heaven for me, and I know that my Lord will reward me on his day of righteous judgment. And this crown is not only waiting for me, but for all who love and long for his unveiling.  2 Tim. 4:7-8 (TPT)

In the above verse, Paul compares living life on earth as a race. It’s not a competition though with others to see who finishes first, second, or third. And unlike youth community sports programs, not everyone will receive a participation trophy! It’s about reaching the finish line, with God, and in my friend’s case, he finished well.

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

He Speaks

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 “Or, God might get their attention through pain…”  Job 33:19a (MSG)

God has a hierarchy to many things, and not to be old fashion but that applies to marriages as well.  Why?  And what does that mean?  In any type of union, marriage, business, ministry, etc. there has to be one individual who has the final say so.  BUT, that one individual is also the one who is accountable for the results of making those decisions, and the one they are accountable to, is God.

In a marriage situation when the man steps into his role of leadership, and as the one who is accountable, his spouse is then under an umbrella of protection, EVEN if she disagrees with her husband.  But, when the woman tries to fulfill the role of the man, people get hurt!  I have witnessed this first hand.

In the course of one year, I had to go through two very hurtful situations.  In both cases, the husbands allowed their spouses to cause great pain in my life, and they wouldn’t say anything to them about how wrong they were.  You see, those husbands have allowed their wives to fill their roll. “Head of Household.”

I wound up praying for the couples and asked God to deal with the men and to speak to them.  There’s no reason why people should continue getting hurt, and then I distanced myself from them.  Later that year, I found out that both of those men were down while they were recovering from knee replacement surgery.  I wondered if God allowed that to happen attempting to get them on their one good knee to pray and seek him concerning how things are going in their marriage, in their life.

In any marriage, business, union, and especially ministry, if God has given you the keys to authority, then don’t give anyone else those keys.  Who you give them to is not the one who will stand before God and give an account for the results, you will.

This isn’t about equal rights, equality, or glass ceilings, but about order, accountability, and individuals not getting hurt.

If your ministry, union, business, or marriage is “Out of Order” and isn’t working then go to God and ask Him to show you.  God will speak.  He probably has been for many years, but you haven’t been listening.  Each time you get hurt and there is not instant healing, perhaps its God trying to get your attention through pain.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

The Power of Praise

/ Mark Brady / 1 Comment

Okay.  I’m going to go all Steven Furtick on ya now:
You think you are all ALONE, but God is right there with you!
You believe the lie that your MARRIAGE is over, but God says, “Commit it to me!
”You think your JOB is going nowhere, but God wants to show you why you are there!
You were promised a PALACE, but you are in a PIT, God says, “Its part of the journey!”

Yes, LIVING is hard, but God is greater!
Yes HEAVEN seems so far away, but it is closer than you think!
One way to overcome life is through the power of praise.  It works.  It lifts your spirit, it strengthens your faith.  Whether you simply praise God with just words, or if you add music.

From the song, “Praise Him”
Let praise be a weapon that conquers all anxiety
We sing your name in the dark and it changes everything
Let it rise, let praise arise.
We’ll watch the giants fall

Fear cannot survive when we praise You
The God of breakthrough’s on our side
Forever lift Him high
With all creation cry,
God we praise You

Oh, we praise You, oh

Let faith be the song that overcomes the raging sea
Let faith be the song that calms the storm inside of me
Let it rise, let praise arise

This is what living looks like
This is what heaven sounds like
We praise You, we praise You

Try praising God despite what you see, or hear in the natural.  Then witness the power that comes with it, or through it, for yourself.  You will be glad you did.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

The Unexpected Sermon

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“It’s okay.  It’s all in the past,” said my great niece as she waved her hands back and forth down low by her side.  She had gotten caught doing something that turned out okay, but would not had been sanctioned by either of her parents.

We laughed as my mother shared the story of the incident with my wife and me, but later in the week my wife quoted my great niece after doing something I did not appreciate.  Yes it’s true, I’m a recovering control freak, and I always argue that I like things done a certain way, because to me it seems like the fastest and easiest way to accomplish that task.  I know, there are many ways to doing some things, and there are times when someone would rather do it their way.

It may seem silly, but my four year old great niece preached with conviction a sermon I needed to hear, but more than that, live out!  I have spent the last several days practicing to let things go and not to mention that my wife may have done or said something that turned out okay, but not something I would have done.  And you know what?  Our marriage is better for it!

In those times when we mess up, do things that God would rather we hadn’t, and we go to him and ask for forgiveness, he always says, “Its okay.  You’re forgiven.  It’s now in the past.”

God makes everything come out right;
    he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work,
    opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace;
    not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
    nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
    nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
    so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
    he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
    God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out,
    keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.
Men and women don’t live very long;
    like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
    leaving nothing to show they were here.
God’s love, though, is ever and always,
    eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children
    as they follow his Covenant ways
    and remember to do whatever he said. (Psalms 103:6-18 MSG)

Forgiveness is not a license to go sin more, or even again, but it lifts the burden of guilt off of us, and allows us to go on, living life in peace.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Be Like God

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Most of her life she heard, “You’re so stupid.”  “You can’t do anything right.”  “You’ll never amount to anything.”  “Why can’t you get this?  It’s not hard.”  She heard messages that she wasn’t good enough and that she never would be.  One negative message after another, and the worst thing happened…she believed them.

Thirty some years later, after thinking that life was just okay, and it couldn’t get any better, because she was taught not to expect anything special, it happened.  She moved away from those she loved, and into the arms of man, who loved her, but more importantly, loved God.  After a while he recognized her insecurities, but he knew how to reverse the years of damage and pain done to her.

He begin being gentle with his deeds, and especially with his words.  He had to make sure he didn’t expect perfection out of every task, as he had been raised to.  He needed to find the capacity to let her do things her way, and then to compliment her on a job well done.  She needed to know he trusted her, and believed in her.  He had to speak love to her and to speak life. He would hide notes and things around the house for her to find that reinforced what he was verbally telling her.

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.  (Prov. 18:21 MSG)

Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.  (Prov. 15:4 MSG)

Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.  (Col. 4:6 MSG)

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.  (Eph. 4:29 MSG)

Over time, because he will be like God to her (and not “a god” over her) she will heal.  Her mind will be cleansed of all of those negative comments.  Each day, she will grow in confidence.  She will soon stand up straight and hold her head up high.  She will begin to believe that she is a child of the most high God and that He loves her, and she will start acting like she knows it.  She will seek out God’s plan and design for her life and purse it with strong conviction.  One day she will be God, or be like God to someone else who is currently walking where she once did.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

There is More Than This

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How much effort does it take to “hope”?  Hoping for a life that is better than the one you are currently living.  I think most don’t say, “I hope I …”, but instead they say, “I wish I …”.

Hope definition is – to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true

Wish definition is – feel or express a strong desire for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen.

Do you see it?  Do you see the difference in “wishing” and “hoping”?  “Hoping” comes with anticipation, because it can actually happen!  This is why “hope” is so powerful.  Hope can restore a marriage.  Hope can lead to someone getting their health back.  Hope can get you a better job.  Hope causes things to happen. 

God’s word says, “These three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:13)  I like what “The Message” translation says, “Trust steadily in God (that’s faith), hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.”

Hope, can help you go from where you are to the kind of life God intended for you all along.  I mean seriously, he started man and woman out living in a garden.  It’s a lie from hell to accept, “Well, this is as good as its ever going to get.”  NO!  You can have what God wants for you.  How?  Ask for it.  Ask God to help you achieve that life.  Believe it can happen.  Start today renewing the way you think, for what you think is what you believe, and what you believe is what you say, and what you say comes to pass for words have a lot of power.

Every time you speak, generally, you are speaking life, or death.  Start listening to how you talk, and pay attention to the kind of words you use the most.  Especially those words you say to other people.  Those words matter, but also what you say to yourself in your mind.  Changing those words can change your life.

God loves you, and wants you to have his best.  He doesn’t want you living in a dump, but in a garden.  He wants you to live above your current situation.  He wants you looking up, for something better, for there is more than this, and when you are looking up he can see you smile.  God wants so much love, happiness, and joy for his children, who love him, and He does work “all” things out for good, for those who love him. (Rom. 8:28)

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

When Your Spouse Preaches

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The best preachers are the ones who receive a particular word, message for their upcoming audience.  Then, at the given time, they deliver those special words from God.  If this person shouted and screamed you might be tempted to leave, or at least tune them out.  So how words are spoken is everything.

What if that preacher is your spouse?  I know.  It’s harder to hear the words being spoken because they are coming from someone who you might also hear nagging, complaining, or gripping from.  You may be thinking, don’t lecture me!  Or, why are you on my case?  But if the words are spoken in a loving way then you should probably listen.  After all, this is your helpmate.  He or she is there to be used of God to guide you, direct you, comfort you, and yes even speak words of life into your soul.

This happened to me recently.  We were driving in the construction zone I have spoken of a few posts ago.  I was trying to merge into the line of cars, and I got cut off.  I started fussing and my wife gently, and in a loving way said, “Your problem is this; you expect others to treat, or do for you the way you treat or do for them.  And when they don’t, you get mad or hurt.”  Her words made sense, because they were true, but because they came from her I dismissed them somewhat.

Fast forward to last night:

I couldn’t fall asleep, so I got up and came into our home office and turned on the TV.  I soon sensed God directing me to watch Joel Osteen.  I tuned in.  Wouldn’t you know he started preaching similar words that my wife was speaking just a few days earlier?  Coming from him it seemed easier to hear and accept.  Then some guilt creeped in, so this morning I confessed to my wife what had happened and that I was sorry I had not heard God’s message from her first, but I vowed to begin listening to the one on earth who loves me when she begins to speak words of life into my soul.

The lesson here is to listen to the message God is trying to say to us despite the vessel he chooses to use.  God likes to work with people to do his business.  They don’t have to be on TV either or come with credentials in order to deserve your time and respect.  If the message is on target then listen with your heart wide open.  It’s God loving on you, because He cares about you so much.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Feeling Loved

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

There are a lot of emotions when it comes to living life.  There are lots of feelings as well, but the best feeling is when you feel loved.  It’s like the warmth when sitting in front of a fireplace, the surrounding of a warm bath, or the natural softness when wrapped up in a quilt.

There is no guessing, or wondering, you know.  Being loved is confidence that somebody cares deeply about you.  They care about your past, your present and your future.  They do all they can to protect you, to serve you, and to give good things to you.  The ones that do it best are the ones that do it with no strings attached.  It’s called unconditional love.

It’s hard to find someone with those qualities, with that kind of deep concern, but when you do, hang on to them, for they are indeed a rare find.  Gold. A precious jewel.  I’m reminded of the parable in the Bible of the man who found a great treasure in a field.  He re-hid it and then sold all he had to buy that field, so the treasure would be his forever.  If and when you find someone who loves you unconditionally, you have found a valuable gift.

Here are the partial lyrics to an older Amy Grant song titled, “Doubly Good to You”:

You can thank the Father
For the things that He has done.
And thank Him for the things He’s yet to do.
And if you find a love that’s tender,
if you find someone who’s true,
Thank the Lord —
He’s been doubly good to you.

I am so thankful to God for my wife.  She loves unconditionally.  She’s a love that’s tender, she’s a love that is true.  I told her mother, “I have searched all my life for a woman like your daughter, April, and up till now I didn’t think she existed, but God lead me to her.”  April is not perfect, but certainly created in the image of God.  For God is love, and He loves with perfection.  His love to us is unconditional, and nothing can separate us from his love.

38 So now I live with the confidence that there is nothing in the universe with the power to separate us from God’s love. I’m convinced that his love will triumph over death, life’s troubles, fallen angels, or dark rulers in the heavens. There is nothing in our present or future circumstances that can weaken his love. 39 There is no power above us or beneath us—no power that could ever be found in the universe that can distance us from God’s passionate love, which is lavished upon us through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!  Rom. 8:38-39 (TPT)

Seek God and his unending, unconditional love.  Recognize its value and treasure it.  His love is not hard to find, for it is right there waiting for you, for feeling loved, is a wonderful thing.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

From Hope, to Reality

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

As you faithful readers of this blog know, I have been waiting for my wife’s immigration to America for two years.  Those were very difficult, trying, and long years, but the one thing that kept us going was hope!

Hope is recognizing there is very little you can do, while wanting a certain result.

Well, if all went as planned, I met my wife yesterday at an airport in America.  Waiting for her just outside the doors to the immigration section.  This process has been such a challenge that I have said, “I won’t believe it until I see her.”  But yesterday, my hope turned into reality.  God is so good.  He kept us close to his heart especially on the days when our hearts were breaking, aching, and we struggled to see us crossing the finish line.

I know we are not alone.  Many of you are facing your own struggles where all you can do is hope.  Don’t give up.  Don’t let go of God’s hand.  I know He will never let go of yours.  I recently posted a blog where I wrote about the women with the issue of blood, from the Bible.  Her reality took 12 years to arrive.  Her sickness bankrupted her, but she never gave up hope.  Then the day came where Jesus appeared on the scene.  She was healed by simply touching the hem of his garment as he walked by.  It was her faith in Jesus that healed her and not the robe he was wearing.

“So because our hope is set on what is yet to be seen, we patiently keep on waiting for its fulfillment.”
Rom. 8:25 (TPT)

So whatever it is you are hoping for, a job, a healing, a spouse, or salvation for a loved one don’t stop hoping.  You never know the day when Jesus may show up on the scene.  It would be a tragedy to give up the day before he passes by. For Jesus passing by in the life of me and my wife I am so grateful.  Praising and worshipping his mighty name all the way across the finish line.  Thank you God.  Thank you Jesus, and thank you Holy Spirit.

Copyright © 2021 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.