relationships

I See You!

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment
Image generated via AI.

I watched a movie today, where a son was bitter against his father. His dad was a world-renowned photographer, and he didn’t think his father was around enough or even saw him. The father learned that the last company in Kansas doing so was going to stop developing film. He had some, according to him, important photos that had never been developed earlier in time. He wanted his son to drive him halfway across the country to Kansas. As well, he hoped to reconnect with his estranged son one more time. The father was also very sick and dying of cancer.

The movie played out a lot like real life, where when someone is around long enough, their true feelings about them have a way of coming out. Words, hurtful ones but sometimes true ones, are spoken.

They make it to Kansas just in time, and if you are like me, you will guess (sorry, spoiler alert) that the father dies the night before the slides are made, preventing him from ever seeing what he considered his best work.

Some people may think or feel as though God doesn’t see them. Or perhaps he isn’t around enough. They might believe this because life isn’t going the way “they” want it to. I assure you, God has never taken his eye off of you. And He is always right there with you.

Watch this: God’s eye is on those who respect him, the ones who are looking for his love. He’s ready to come to their rescue in bad times; in lean times he keeps body and soul together. Ps. 33:18-19 (MSG)

God would say, “I see you!” There have been times when I felt God’s presence so strong that I knew He not only sees me and what I am going through, but is right there with me in the moment. Faith helps you know that God is there and that He sees you.

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” Deu. 31:6 (MSG)

At the end of the movie, the son loads a slide carousel projector to view what his father claimed was so important that he had to deliver it to the developer himself, rather than trust a shipping company to handle it. Turns out, the photos were of him as he was growing up. Yes, his dad was there, and yes, he saw him!

Copyright © 2025 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

Desperately Seeking God!

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The other day, I had to fast for twelve hours and then have blood drawn for an upcoming doctor’s appointment. Needless to say, I was hungry by the time I finished getting the lab work done. Fortunately, there is a fast-food establishment that serves breakfast right next door to the lab.

When I walked in, I saw a middle-aged lady bent over the front counter, filling out a report. I started checking out the menu. When she saw me, she apologized. I smiled and told her it wasn’t necessary as I was still pondering what to get. I finally decided, and after taking my order, she asked for my name.

I got my drink and stood near the counter to receive my food. Then, I picked out a place to sit. Several times, when I looked into the kitchen, I would notice her looking at me. I am certainly not used to having women look at me. However, last week, I had a beautiful woman at the health club smile at me. I smiled back and then looked around to see if her warm expression was meant for someone else.

When the morning sun rose above a nearby building, its light flooded the dining area and illuminated my face. I’m sure I looked radiant and angelic and just needed a wind machine to blow my hair back! This undoubtedly added to her infatuation with me!

After I finished my breakfast, I cleaned up my space and used their public bathroom. As I was exiting the door, I heard, “Goodbye, Mark.” Nervously, I looked back and saw her at the counter. I said, “Goodbye. Have a nice day.” She probably did after encountering me. LOL

Here is what I think was really going on in the above true story. The woman appeared to have had a rough life so far. I imagine she had been in and out of several relationships with men. Hoping they would satisfy the longing in her heart for God, but she probably didn’t know that is Who she was actually desperately seeking. The woman was not really attracted to me, but to the love of God she sensed about me. She no doubt felt His presence and His peace. We are reps for God everywhere we go. That is why we need to be open to other’s needs and recognize situations where someone is seeking God. Then, we can share with them and introduce them to Him.

If with heart and soul you’re doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you’re still better off. Don’t give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath. It’s better to suffer for doing good, if that’s what God wants, than to be punished for doing bad. That’s what Christ did definitively: suffered because of others’ sins, the Righteous One for the unrighteous ones. He went through it all—was put to death and then made alive—to bring us to God. 1 Peter 3:15-18 (MSG)

Copyright © 2024 Mark Brady  All Rights Reserved

Leave it Clean

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment
Photo by Mabel Amber

If you read and follow this blog (I don’t), you know that April and I rented an apartment in Louisville earlier in the year. There are many reasons, and you would probably find out if you read all the blog posts starting in January. (I dare you! You’ll learn why and my readership will go way up.)

Anyway, I have lived in many apartments in my adult life, and I have always prided myself on getting my full security deposit back. The only way to do that is to leave the apartment better, cleaner than when you moved in. We no longer have the apartment in Louisville, and I just checked, and we got our entire security deposit back.

Thinking about how to leave things, I have learned over the years that no matter the circumstances, it is always best to leave people better, cleaner than when you moved into their life. I have had to take the exit ramp out of a few lives recently. I won’t list why. All of them, except one, ended well. That one didn’t because I was careless and didn’t ask for an invitation to speak into their life. The individual didn’t like hearing the truth, so the friendship ended sourly. I gave all my emotions, pain, and desire to get revenge to God.

There is great power in asking for an invitation to speak into someone’s life first before you do. This is one of the topics in my next book to be published, soon I hope, “Ask, Flip and Invite – The Power to Learn, Change, and Influence Your World.”

The one thing I had noticed when you leave someone better or cleaner than when you met them is this; they don’t realize you pulled away. They think you simply drifted away due to different interests, new interests, or for some other good reason. This should be our desire when it comes to leaving people. In other words, they should feel good when they think of you.

Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God.
Phi. 1:3 (MSG)

Take the time and effort needed to leave it clean. You will be glad in your heart that you did.

Copyright © 2023 Mark Brady.

Understanding Others

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment
Photo by: Kaique Rocha

I got a phone call last night that bewildered me. In full disclosure, I struggled to accept the situation. I don’t think I can even begin to understand how the events expressed by my caller would put one in a hospital.

After the call, I sat and pondered what was told to me. I eventually had to ask God to help me understand. He didn’t. But He did help me remember that all of us are individuals, and we all have our weaknesses. We all have areas where we are strong and weak. What doesn’t take me out can devastate another. It’s all because of sin in the world. It’s like attracting a disease in a way. One illness that can harm another may not affect me at all.

One thing that immunizes me against being affected is my relationship with God. I spend time with him. I talk to him during the day, and I read his word. I call out to him for help when I struggle with an issue and ask him to take the weight off of me when I stumble.

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble. Ps. 46:1 (NIV)

So understanding the truth about people and how or why some are affected by events in life more than others leads to one conclusion. And this is what God did reveal to me. It’s not about understanding others but accepting others.

Copyright © 2023 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

Oh No, They Didn’t!

/ Mark Brady / 1 Comment
Photo by: Andrea Piacquadio

One of the most challenging things about life is having relationships with people! I haven’t been shy about my allergy to people. If given a choice, I avoid them, but that can be hard to do when you work, have friends, or have a love life. It doesn’t matter if that love is within a marriage or if one is dating.

I recently became aware of a person who is dating, and the relationship hit a major snag. I understand the feeling of being cheated on (I should insert here, not by my wife, April.). But when we get hurt by a relationship, what’s the appropriate reaction?

Should we curl up and die? Do we withdraw from life, turn off the lights and hide? Press the pause button?

Some might seek revenge and physically harm the other person or their property, or worse, hook up with someone else. That saying, “Two wrongs don’t make a right!” is undoubtedly true.

Jesus was cheated on, betrayed, so He knows the pain you are going through or have gone through. We should look at how He reacted when his friend, Judas-Iscariot, his co-worker, hurt him. First, Peter got angry and went for revenge by cutting off the ear of one there to arrest Jesus. Jesus commanded him to stop, and then Jesus healed the man’s ear and went peacefully with them. (Matthew 26:47-56)

Judas no doubt knew that Jesus still loved him and forgave him but could not handle the guilt. And that is why I think he committed suicide. Sad! Loving and forgiving sets you free. It doesn’t tell the other person, “What you did to me was okay.” it does tell them, “I’m not going to allow your actions to stop me from living life!”

I, too, know it’s hard, and fair warning, it will take time to get over it. And you will have to make that decision many times to forgive and to go on living and loving. It’s not a “one-time” decision.

Keep in mind responding inappropriately can not only hurt you or put you in jail, but it can hurt those around you. How you decide to respond can have life-changing and long-lasting results. Forgiving and loving is best.

Prayer: Father God, if someone reading this post is currently living with this kind of pain or has and hasn’t dealt with it, then I ask you to help them. Comfort them, Father, and help them to ask you for assistance in dealing with the pain and respond in a forgiving and loving way. Help them remember your Son, Jesus, has “been there!” Assure them that life will go on, and they will be a survivor. Thank you, Amen.

Copyright © 2023 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

What is Love?

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

Love, to me, is like riding a roller coaster.  When you first encounter a roller coaster, you have never been on before you are filled with excitement, wonder, amazement, and even a little scared.  You agree to get on the ride, and the attendant helps you with the restraining device.  The ride starts moving, and you get a half smile on your face simply because you really don’t know what you are in for, and then comes the first hill.

At the top of the first hill is the least scary moment of a ride, but seconds later you will be screaming your head off, hanging on to that restraining device as if your life depends on it, and in reality, it does.  There are twists and turns and ups and downs and tunnels of darkness, and even loops that can change your perspective, and it is about then you say to yourself, “What was I thinking?”  You ride, you hang on, you go through all that commotion and then you are back into the station.  The ride stops.  It is time to get off.  You stagger to the exit, the contents in your stomach have been shaken, not stirred, and you certainly feel it, yet what do you proclaim out loud, “I want to ride it again!”

In a dating relationship, one can certainly get off the ride, but there are some coasters you ride till death do you part.  Now that would make an interesting sign above the entrance to a coaster.  My kids and I love coasters.  There was one Saturday at Six Flags Great America the park wasn’t too busy, and we rode 40 times on roller coasters.  On the last coaster of the day, we stayed on continuously 16 times.  We, as humans, are addicted to love.  We like it, we want it, we crave it, and we need it.

For the past couple of days, I have listened to people on TV try to say what love is.  None of them, even the ones with “Ph.D.” after their names even came close.  Real love is as described in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and it takes this kind of love (God’s kind of love) to stay in any relationship, from friends to coworkers, to family, and to the spouse.  Let me list a few here:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. (NIV)

The real test to see if YOU are “love” is to replace the word “love” in the above section and insert your name.  You can certainly insert the name of Jesus in there, for we know He is love.  So if you are currently in any relationship let love be your restraint, and hang on.

Copyright © 2023 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

Close Enough

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

I saw this photo on Facebook, and, like you, I laughed. But a moment later, I heard a whisper in my spirit. It said, “That is some people’s attitude toward God.”

Some only attend a church service at Christmas and Easter. Others might go every time the doors are open, but neither put much more effort into their relationship with God than that. Lucky for us, God doesn’t take attendance! For the record, going to church alone doesn’t mean you will live in heaven for eternity after you die. And the only thing that can guarantee your final destination is believing in Jesus Christ and accepting him into your life and heart.

Having a good relationship with God goes further and much deeper. One must be intentional about spending time with God, which doesn’t mean being “religious” about it, like getting up at 5 AM every morning to pray and read the Bible. It means talking to God all the time about anything and everything. Your ups as well as your downs. And then taking time to see if there is anything, He would want to say to you. It’s like having a conversation with your best friend. It also means reading his Word regularly. This whole blog/website was started to encourage people to grow in God.

Having a close connection to God means having a full, adventurous, fun, and exciting life. Having an “abundant” life, as Jesus said, is one reason He came to this world.

“I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.”
John 10:10b (MSG)

“Close enough” really just doesn’t cut it. You will find yourself lacking and still in want. It may not take much effort, but it is not satisfying, just as those Christmas lights in the photo wouldn’t be as well. So try harder. Be purposeful in developing your relationship with God. Your efforts will be rewarded, and now is a great time to start. God accepts you as you are and loves you more than you will ever believe.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8a (NKJV)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady. All rights reserved.

They Lost It!

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

I know there are several people who absolutely LOVE Christmas. If it was more socially accepted they would leave the tree and the decorations up all year and they would probably go as far as to leave the lights on the house, lit! I know one particular person who has been posting on Facebook a countdown of how many days till Christmas. I think she started it on January 1st.

One Christmas lover does leave ornaments out in various rooms around the house. I heard that one day a friend who wanted to play a joke removed one of the ornaments that were displayed in the guest bathroom. They hung on to it for a few weeks expecting to get a call that would be accompanied by an accusation. The call never came.

Apparently, when the missing ornament was discovered the one who seriously loves Christmas went on a rampage trying to find out what happened to it or who took it. I guess they got quite upset over the ordeal. One family member tried their best to find or order a replacement in order to restore peace in the home but learned the ornament was no longer being made.

It happens. A person’s “joy” can be taken, or even stolen if they let it. It doesn’t take much at times. What we should do is calmly evaluate the situation and realize “no one got hurt”, “it’s only a thing”, and recognize that though it may bother you or hurt it’s not the end of the world. That it was simply an item and not a person. It certainly isn’t worth hurting a relationship over!

My brothers, you will have many kinds of troubles. But when these things happen, you should be very happy (joyful). 3 You know that these things are testing your faith. And this will give you patience. James 1:2-3 (ICB)
[The “joyful” in the parenthesis was inserted by me.]

The joy of the Lord is my strength. Neh. 8:10

The person who took the ornament eventually gave it back and though the Christmas lover laughed and said they were okay they ended the friendship. They lost more than an ornament for a time, they lost a friend. Sad end to the story especially when the ornament (pictured) shared “joy” and was an emblem of love and happiness expressed at Christmas.

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

Magkano?

/ Mark Brady / 2 Comments

I heard it said the other day, “Every relationship is a transaction.” This expression caught my attention, and I have thought a lot about it. What the man who said those words went on to share was this, “In each relationship, you are either giving or taking.”

In my lifetime, I have been in a lot of different types of relationships. Working relationships, family relationships, friendships, general acquaintances, and marriage to name just a few. So what the man was saying was that in each one of those relationships, one was giving and one was taking, or at least some percentage of both.

Was I the giver? Or was I the taker? Or somehow did I manage the relationship to give and take? Did I take more than I gave? In some of those encounters with those individuals was I fair? Was I ever starving for so much that I partook first before considering the other’s needs?

I know me and in full disclosure, I have to consciously make an effort to stop talking and purposely make myself ask the other person questions about them. I like to talk, I like to tell stories, after all, I am a writer. But there are times when it is best to not say a word about me, and to listen, to inquire, and show that I care about them.

Jesus certainly was a giver in every relationship. He gave comfort, hope, and teachings on how to live an abundant life, and He still does! He also gave his life so that we may live eternally with Him in heaven.

Are you a giver, or a taker? Magkano (ma-con-o) in Tagalog (language of the Philippines) means “how much?” A phrase I learned to ask my tricycle driver when he would taxi me into town, or back home. It wasn’t long for the local ones to not answer me when I asked them, “Magkano?” I think word had gotten out that the American who had married April Joy Santiago Cruz was generous, and he would often pay more than the actual cost. This was a good reputation to have.

Be a giver. When meeting someone, ask yourself on the inside, magkano? Meaning how much is this going to cost me? You may have a lot of untold stories pent up inside, but investing in another person is always a good investment to make. They will certainly be richer for it, and in many ways, so will you! This will be a good reputation to have.

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.

It’s Not Me, it’s You

/ Mark Brady / Leave a comment

Have you ever found yourself in one of those relationships where the other person does something that offends you, or hurts you? And then when you tried to share with them how it bothered you they act out and try to turn things around as if it was your fault. What the heck? Right? It can be extremely frustrating.

I was thinking about this scenario and feeling exasperated. I asked God about it as I do now when I am in need of wisdom and understanding. He is so faithful to provide an answer. He shared with me that when you speak “truth” it can convict. This can make them uncomfortable and they can get defensive. The other thing that may happen is they will distance themselves from you.

It may be they come up with excuses as to why they can’t get together anymore, or stop inviting you to events, or family gatherings. What makes it hard on you is they convince themselves and others that “you” are the problem, but it is NOT you, it’s them!

I know it hurts. It’s not right. It’s an injustice. So how do we handle it? As difficult as it is, we must still love them, and pray for them. Realize you are in good company! Jesus was falsely accused. Some of the people around him, religious leaders of that day, etc. were confronted with Truth. It convicted how they should be living. To push Jesus out of their lives they crucified him. I don’t think your family and friends will go to that extreme so don’t despair.

Keep in mind when Jesus wants to enter a person’s life, heart, He stands at the door and knocks. He waits for an invitation to enter. We cannot force someone to change. Continue to speak the truth in love, and hope that your loving actions will be used by the Holy Spirit to work into their hearts.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears and listens to and heeds My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will eat with him, and he [will eat] with Me. Rev. 3:20 (AMPC)

Copyright © 2022 Mark Brady.  All rights reserved.