The Art of Walmart Speed Shopping:

May 12, 2026May 5, 2026 / Mark Brady / 1 Comment

Shopping cart filled with pasta and canned goods in supermarket aisle — Image generated via AI.

Let’s be honest, shopping at Walmart can feel like running a marathon you didn’t train for, except the finish line is a self-checkout machine that keeps yelling, “Please place item in the bagging area.” But fear not, my fellow deal-seekers. I’ve cracked the code for the most efficient (and slightly ridiculous) way to conquer Walmart like a pro (or your local store).

Step 1: The Parking Lot Power Play
Forget circling for the “perfect” spot. Park near the cart return. Why? Because after your shopping sprint, you’ll thank yourself for not dragging a cart across three zip codes. Bonus: You can use the cart return as a landmark when you inevitably forget where you parked.

Step 2: The Cart Selection Olympics
Test your cart before committing. Push it three feet. If it wobbles like a shopping cart on roller skates, ditch it. A squeaky wheel is fine—it’s basically your theme song, but a rogue wheel will ruin your speed record.

Step 3: The Aisle Assassin Strategy
Walmart aisles are like rivers—flow with the current, don’t fight it. If you see a cluster of people debating which brand of peanut butter is “more organic,” execute a swift U-turn and circle back later. Efficiency is about momentum, not peanut purity.

Step 4: The Ninja Grab-and-Go
Know your list. Memorize it. Commit it to your soul. This is not the time for “browsing.” You’re here for milk, bread, and maybe that suspiciously cheap throw blanket you didn’t know you needed.

Step 5: The Checkout Gauntlet
Self-checkout is faster—if you’re ready. Bag like a Tetris champion. Scan like you’re defusing a bomb. And for the love of efficiency, don’t be the person who realizes they forgot eggs after paying.

Step 6: The Grand Exit
Leave with purpose. Don’t get distracted by the clearance aisle on your way out. That’s how “just a quick trip” turns into “I now own a karaoke machine and a 3-foot inflatable flamingo.”

Final Pro Tip:

If you really want to shop at Walmart like a legend, go at 7 a.m. on a Tuesday. The aisles are empty, the shelves are stocked, and the only other shoppers are retirees who will absolutely beat you to the last rotisserie chicken.

You may be thinking Geez, Mark. What does Walmart shopping have to do with the kingdom of God? A lot, really. Our world is telling us, through several media outlets, to buy more. To drive the latest model. To wear the latest fashion, and so on. Do you realize that when you see those “so-called famous people” advertising something, they most likely were given those things to generate sales? Because people think they will be happier with more of the same items that the people they idolize have.

“Fill your shopping cart,” they yell at us. “Get the latest phone, the biggest TV, the coolest car. Can’t afford it? No problem. Put it on credit. Come on, you work hard. You deserve it!” The debt of Americans was 18.3 trillion dollars in the second quarter of 2025! Some are so deep in debt that they cannot afford to be generous. That is sad.

There is a huge difference between a “need” and a “want”. Something I tried to teach my children starting when they were young. I’ll admit, the way items are displayed in the store makes it difficult not to impulse buy. Or to purchase more than only the items on your shopping list, but we must try to resist the temptation. Learn to “tune out” the lies the advertisers tell us. Instead, ask God to help us and to guide us. To help us to “Just say No,” as if shopping has become a drug, and in many ways, it has. Focusing on God can help us “break the habit,” so that we can do our shopping and still be a good steward of what He has given us, being confident that He knows what we have need of (Mat. 6:8) and will provide those things.

Show God Cares

March 11, 2022March 1, 2022 / Mark Brady / 2 Comments

It amazes me still, how God can lead our steps, and direct our timing so we will be where he needs us to be, to work with him in showing love, support, and encouragement to others. He cares so much for people and what they are going through that He will position his servants where He needs them.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.
Ps. 37:23 (KJV)

April and I were talking about this subject last week. I reminded her of one thing; you have to see the people and recognize the need. It may mean your own agenda gets interrupted, or you may get behind, but showing God’s love is more important.

I remember one time I had taken the wrong road to get to Walmart. I was angry with myself because I had gone the slow way when I was in a hurry! When I arrived I looked over and saw an older woman struggling to remove packs of soda from her cart. I went and asked if I could help her. She let me. Then she asked, “Where did you come from any way?” I replied, “God sent me!” The look on her face was priceless. One of amazement realizing, perhaps for the first time, God cared!

Show the world how much He cares about them and even the little things of their life. The results may be eternal life, for them!

First Church of Walmart

June 15, 2021June 16, 2021 / Mark Brady / 2 Comments

A few weeks ago, we were in a small town, in Oklahoma, on a Sunday morning, and there weren’t many people stirring around. There were a couple of gas stations open and one donut shop.

A few days later we were warned not to go to the Walmart in that town on a Sunday morning, because all of the crazies are there at that time, instead of being in church. Now there are a few crazies at church too, I’ve met them, but I’m talking about the ones that make the front page of Facebook as to how they dress when they go to Walmart. Oh come on, you know what I’m talking about, and you have laughed probably harder than I have!

We went to church this past Sunday. Yes, in person, where previously we had attended online. My first time since January of 2020. I said I wouldn’t go back until my toilet paper hoarding pile was used up. (kidding) I got to say, It felt good, to be with others worshiping God. I definitely sensed the presence of God among us, but I must add there were plenty of times I sensed his presence here at home as well.

You see, “going to church” doesn’t save you. Just “going” won’t get you into heaven. You have to accept God’s son, Jesus as the Lord of your life and the one who paid the price for you sins, wrong doing. To my knowledge, God doesn’t take attendance. You go to church to be with others who believe like you do. To be encouraged, and to encourage others. To develop friendships that help each other through life. You know, the ups, as well as the downs. God’s word mentions how he will tell some, who even did great things in his name, “Depart from me. I never knew you.” You can go to church every time the doors are open, but unless it changes your heart and fills you with the love of God, then you are probably taking a seat that could be used by one who is serious, devoted about living for God, a true believer and follower. By someone who will let “love” rule in their life.

One can feel God where ever they are, if they know him, and have a relationship with him. In a way, God got rid of the formal church when his son, Jesus died on the cross. For in that moment, God ripped the veil from top to bottom ever inviting mankind into an intimate relationship with him, for the purification process was taken on by his son.

So let’s do it—full of belief, confident that we’re presentable inside and out. Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching. Hebrews 10:22-25 (MSG)

The photo was taken inside a “Life Church”. I love their attitude, position, and inventiveness. In the meantime, go to church as much as you go to Walmart, and don’t forget “the bread”.